Conspiracies of Rome Read online

  A few silver coins bought better manners. He told us he would do what he could, and we should return the following afternoon.

  Next stop was the Church Bank, housed in one of the cellars. Armed guards stood outside a monumental brick arch that led down into what I cannot imagine once had been. Now, it was brightly lit and filled with dark, sharp Syrians, who darted here and there among parchment ledgers and sheaves of papyrus. Every movement threw up clouds of dust into the dank, unventilated air of the bank.

  This was my introduction to banking. I hadn’t at all liked Maximin’s idea when we’d unloaded the horses and dragged those bags into the Lateran. I was appalled when he said we should hand it all over to these shifty Orientals. I said it would be safer with the whores outside. It still took some explaining to me what a good idea banks were.

  Of course, it all depends on where you bank your cash. I lost a small fortune when the Saracens took Antioch. Every bank in the city closed its doors as the cash boxes were plundered. I did in the end get some of it back from Omar – but only after shedding my foreskin in a pretence conversion, and then he paid in silver that took forever to carry away.

  Not that I did too badly from the deal. When that pig of an Emperor Constantine – the present one, that is – caught me out and confiscated my house and fortune and tried to have me blinded, I still had something beyond his reach in Antioch. It paid for my escape and the bribes along the way. It still pays for little delicacies that I have sent to me in Jarrow, along with the occasional new book and quire of papyrus. I have a great-grandson who looks after this. I have never seen him, but I understand he is a perfect little Saracen.

  But the Church Bank was an excellent choice. Handling and backed by the vast revenues of the Church, it has never closed its doors. Not even when, about thirty years after opening my account there, Exarch Isaac marched over from Ravenna to plunder the Lateran, did the bank suspend its activities. It is the greatest if least observed power of the West. In those days, it was still flexing its muscles as the imperial hold on Italy slackened. Even so, it transacted an immense business. Money came in from the papal estates all over the West and in the Empire. Money went out.

  Recently, the pope had taken over the costs of Roman defence. After the last big siege, about ten years previously, Pope Gregory had made a separate peace with the Lombards under which he paid them five hundred pounds of gold every year. There was the cost of a food dole for the dirty parasites in Rome. There were bribes to state and Church officials in Constantinople. There was the occasional sub to the emperor himself when his finances became desperate – that is, every few months.

  Entering Rome with twenty-eight pounds of gold in the saddlebags and two around my waist, I’d thought we were unimaginably rich. The Syrian clerks didn’t turn a hair as I dumped bag after bag onto the table. They opened a few bags at random, tested the coin, and just weighed the rest. Most of it went unopened into another vault even deeper underground. They gave us a little parchment book with our names and addresses and the weight of the amount deposited. Being still a distrustful barbarian, I kept hold of the two pounds I’d killed for. All the while, big boxes of coin came back and forth, each one accompanied by a sheet of papyrus covered in writing by many hands.

  Now to our lodgings. Back in Canterbury, Maximin had been given an introduction to some monastery nearby the old Praetorian Camp. This would give us a floor to sleep on and our bare fill. But we had gone somewhat up in the world in the past few days, and Maximin saw no sinful indulgence in revising our arrangements.

  ‘Let us give our places to some other poor souls who cannot afford what God has placed within our reach,’ he’d explained in Tarquini, as he sent ahead. ‘So long as we do not enjoy it to the exclusion of our spiritual needs,’ he’d added with a monitory wave of his finger, ‘it is our duty to take what luxury God has made possible.’

  ‘Indeed,’ I said, with an attempt at meekness. I was wondering where the brothels might be, and what excuses I’d be able to make to get away from Maximin.

  Luxury for him was the house of Marcella on the Caelian Hill, with a fair view from its roof down to the southeastern wall and the country beyond. Looking away from this, one could see the still noble shell of the Imperial Palace on the Palatine.

  Usefully close to the Lateran, the house was a sizeable place, in a district still populated and reasonably wealthy and therefore unruined. Two storeys high, it was built around a central garden. The external walls were as blank and windowless as a fortress’s. There was a double gate in, which showed that Rome had never been a very peaceful city. Other similar houses lined the street on both sides. The paving stones were unbroken, and were kept clear of weeds and rubbish.

  All within was delightful. The rooms were light and airy. There was fresh plaster on many of the walls. The furniture was ill-matched, having been picked up in various auctions. But, unformed as my taste then was in such matters, I could see that many pieces were of remarkable workmanship. I was most struck by a table in the entrance hall – ebony legs in the shape of caryatids, the top a single sheet of blue glass two inches thick. Rather big even for that big hall, it supported a crystal vase filled every day with freshly cut flowers.

  In Richborough, we’d all lived in one big room. In Canterbury, I’d slept in a dormitory with the other monks, and it had needed great care not to wake the others as I went out for my nightly exercise with Edwina. Otherwise, I’d slept in common rooms in taverns, in monasteries, or by the side of the road with Maximin. Now, I had my own suite of rooms on the upper floor. I entered through a door with a lock that led off a corridor. Within, I had a fine living chamber, where I could eat and work if I felt disinclined to share my company. Through a connecting doorway was a bedroom – with a bed, with a mattress, with linen coverings, with a lead chamber pot underneath.

  ‘Piss only in there, if you please,’ Marcella had said when I drew it out. ‘We use it for bleaching the clothes.’

  Through another door was my own bathroom. At the time, the Claudian Aqueduct was back in a semblance of working order, and the house drew water from it. There was no longer any furnace to heat the water in the main bathhouse downstairs, but I could have a bath whenever I pleased to have the slaves bring up cold water. In his own suite, across the corridor, Maximin sniffed at the idea of a cold bath. But a childhood spent swimming in the sea off Richborough had prepared me for the very gentle chill of the Roman water supply.

  But I haven’t described the toilets! These were in a low building in a corner of the garden. There was a bank of five stone seats, each one in the shape of an omega. You sat yourself down. You shat. You reached through the opening between your legs and cleaned yourself with a vinegary sponge on a stick. I could see there used to be a time when the shit and piss fell into a little channel and was washed away into sewers that led down to the Tiber. Nowadays, though, the water hadn’t the pressure to reach here, and so buckets were placed under the seats and emptied before they could overflow.

  It was delightful! I’d never imagined such delicacy of living. The poets and sermonisers I’d read had declaimed against warm baths and silken sheets. But none had thought to mention this. It must have been to them an accepted fact of civilisation. Never was cleanliness made easier or more elegant.

  ‘Right, my lad,’ said I as I sat sponging myself for the first time, ‘it’ll need more than for Ethelbert to change his mind before you set foot in boring, dumpy old England again.’

  I have no idea how old Marcella was. With her scrawny arms and black wig and hard, painted face, she could have been anywhere between fifty and eighty. She tyrannised her slaves and as many of her guests as she could terrify into line.

  ‘This is a respectable house for respectable guests,’ she’d said as she’d showed us round. ‘I’ll have no excessive drinking in the rooms, nor any gambling, nor male or female callers after dark.

  ‘And you can keep your hands off my slaves!’

  This last was thr
own in my direction. I took my eyes off one of the maids who was scrubbing the steps down to the garden, her tits bobbling most provocatively, and tried to look demure. But my amorous propensities were well and truly excited, and I marked that girl down for a delivery of bread and cheese or whatever to my room as soon as the Pleiades had set around the midnight hour. I’d not lie alone that night, I was sure.

  Before dying in one of the plagues, Marcella’s husband had been a middling imperial official. She’d then had the house adapted for paying guests, and had managed very well ever since. Her guests were a mixed lot – merchants from the East, the poorer sorts of diplomat, officials on business from Constantinople who didn’t fancy being put up in what was left of the Imperial Palace. With her rates, and assuming a three-quarter occupancy, she must have taken about three pounds of gold a year, of which two-thirds could have been profit. In a city like Constantinople or Alexandria, this would have bought solid comfort. In Rome, where coin was short outside the Church, it let her put on all manner of airs and graces, and think herself the equal of the ancient senators.

  ‘Of course, we fair dote on learning in my house,’ she’d said, throwing open the door to her library.

  Also on the upper floor, the library was across the garden, just opposite my rooms. About fifty volumes, with scorched covers and water-stained pages, her collection was an incongruous mass. I don’t doubt she’d got that too at auction – a job lot of stuff collected from ruined houses after one of the sieges or internal riots. Much of it, not surprisingly, was religious. Some of it, though, was of interest for me. I took down some volumes translated from Greek on mathematical theory, together with a brief work on the construction of drains. Marcella saw me and pulled out a papyrus notebook.

  ‘Your name and the title, if you please,’ she said briskly. ‘I find this avoids much unpleasantness.’

  She looked at my name and pulled a face sour even by her standards. ‘Where are you from?’ she asked. ‘You’re not a barbarian, surely?’

  ‘He is a good Christian boy from the old province of Britain,’ Maximin hastily explained. ‘He is my secretary, and will assist in the collection of more books for the missionary libraries there.’

  She sniffed and launched into a long boast about some remote ancestor of one of her late husband’s cousins – a senator, she claimed, who’d run a chain of wine shops in London. I forget the details of all this. Its burden, though, was that she distrusted barbarians and refused to have them as guests.

  Though it still exists in the Empire, this distinction between barbarian and citizen has broken down in Italy. When I was first there, though, it was still sharply drawn. You can imagine I was somewhat put out by having it drawn against me. I only felt happier with Marcella when, shortly after, she took in a whole party of Franks, accepting their silver with what passed with her for a happy smile.

  While I recovered my composure, she prosed on about a London she seemed to have confused with somewhere in Africa. She was cut short by one of the household slaves. There was a man at the door, asking for Maximin. A slave, he was shown into one of the common rooms on the ground floor. The urban prefect awaited us at our earliest convenience.

  ‘I wonder what took him so long?’ Maximin grunted.

  11

  In olden times, the city had been governed from the Basilica built by Constantine. In those days, the urban prefect had enjoyed dominion in the emperor’s name over Rome and its external suburbs. The prefect sat there still – though his correct title even then, I think, had changed to duke of Rome – and we hurried to be in his presence.

  We repassed the Colosseum after coming down from the Caelian. It made anyone beside it look like an ant. It dwarfed even the huge buildings that surrounded it. I wanted to stop and look at it, but Maximin said we were in a hurry.

  ‘We can have a little tour once our business is finished,’ he said soothingly, as I looked about within this massive landscape of stone and brick. I wanted to run about, looking at everything. I wanted to see what shops there might be, and what was in them for sale. To look properly about this great city would take months, and then there would still be much to see. I wanted to make a start. Seeing some imperial official, to say who we were and get his formal consent to our remaining in the place, struck me as a dry and almost useless proceeding.

  But Maximin had fussed about in his room with documents, and insisted I shouldn’t put on my fine suit. Then we’d come straight out. Now we were hurrying past things of endless interest.

  The Basilica was a block further down on our left, just before the main Forum. It was interesting in itself. Being the main government building, it had suffered in the general sacks by the Goths and Vandals, but had escaped the more continuous predations of the Roman people. Therefore, it retained all its marble facing and most of the bronze tiles on its roof. The Basilica was adorned in the manner usual for ancient buildings – marble portico, colonnades, niches for statues, and so forth. But the dominant feature was its immense size. It sat on a sheet of concrete three hundred feet long and two hundred wide. Raised on each side of the width were a line of barrel vaults extending down the length. Connecting these was a great central vaulted nave, two hundred and fifty feet long, eighty wide, and a hundred and twenty high. Still smaller than the Colosseum, the building towered over us as we approached. Two giants walking abreast could have entered through the main bronze door.

  The great hall inside was a shimmering mass of many-coloured marbles, lit from windows high up in the vaults. At the far end sat a colossal statue of Constantine. There were still traces of gold leaf on the upper parts. But even bare and white, it was an impressive sight. The head alone was bigger than most houses. To the right and left of the hall, staircases led to warrens of offices and smaller public rooms. On each side, about fifty feet up, were long galleries giving an overall view of the hall.

  As we entered, the prefect sat before the statue of Constantine. A small man with a dark beard and a white robe fringed with purple, he was hearing a law case. Beside him on stands were icons of the emperor and empress. Slightly away from these, though at the same height, was an icon of the pope. In front of him, their clients in cowed silence, two lawyers were arguing at interminable length about some defective building works.

  As we sat unobtrusively by one of the smaller statues, I gathered that the plaintiff had engaged the defendants to repair a drain. But as nobody in Rome nowadays knew anything about the correct gradient for water, there had been a flood and the plaintiff’s house had been undermined. Now the lawyers were making the most of the work put their way. Listening to their slow, turgid delivery, I was unable to work out if they were being paid by the word uttered or by the time needed to utter their words.

  Otherwise, the hall was empty. It had plainly been built with crowds in mind. The prefect would once have sat among a vast concourse of litigants and petitioners, all jostling and shouting for his attention. Now he sat almost alone. There hadn’t even been beggars outside. The sunbeams moved slowly across the dusty, tiled floor, and the lawyers droned on.

  I coughed. The sound echoed round the empty hall. The prefect looked up from his doze, saw us and stood.

  ‘This is a case of gross negligence,’ he said in the very correct Latin of someone who has learnt it as a foreign language. The exarch had recently taken to appointing Greek officials to the post, there being so few Romans willing or competent to discharge the remaining duties.

  ‘I give judgement for the plaintiff. I will settle the damages in my written judgement, which you will receive on the Ides of next month. You can pay the appropriate clerking fee as you leave. You are all dismissed.’

  With that, he was walking quickly over to us, his legal business forgotten. One of the litigants cried out in a thick German accent that he hadn’t received justice. He had used the best engineers available, and could show the receipts. He would be taking his case to the Lateran, where justice went on the merits of the case, not the size of th
e bribe. The prefect ignored this.

  ‘Welcome to Rome,’ he said warmly, reaching out a hand to Maximin. ‘I’ve heard so much about your adventures on the road, and am eager to hear all about it at first hand.’

  He took us into his private office at the far left end of the hall. A lavishly marbled room with high windows, this was piled high with books and documents mainly covered in dust. He sat at his desk, we before him. A slave appeared with a pitcher of wine. Three generous servings were made. He drained his in a single gulp and reached out his cup for another. Maximin did the same, then gave a brief and expurgated account of all we had done since that morning outside Populonium. ‘But for you and your forethought in sending out guards,’ he concluded, ‘we should certainly now be dead men. We give all thanks to you,’ he paused, ‘and, of course, to the divine prudence of the emperor, whose benevolence shines upon us all.’

  He raised his cup suggestively. The slave leaned forward again.

  The prefect smiled. He probably didn’t receive much flattery, and anything was welcome.

  ‘I was given information of something odd happening outside Populonium,’ he said, ‘and sent a force to investigate. I did give orders that any armed barbarians were to be arrested and brought back to Rome. Here, they could be tried according to the divine justice of the emperor. I was thinking of something lingering for them – something perhaps with boiling oil. Or we still have the two lions. Rex and Regina would have liked some good barbarian flesh – so much tastier than the local trash I must generally feed them.’

  He shrugged. ‘But something seems to have gone wrong with the transmission of orders. There was a fight, but no prisoners were taken. Getting any orders obeyed is a constant trouble now His Holiness has taken over most payments. A pity. The people would have appreciated a good show . . .